Oh Danny Boy...

My thoughts EXACTLY

2008-08-20T09:25:00.000-04:00

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2008/08/quote-for-th-18.html

"George Bush's record as a student, military man, businessman and leader of the free world is one of constant failure. And the part that troubles me most is he seems content with himself. He will leave office with the country $10 trillion in debt, fighting two wars, our international reputation in shambles, our government cloaked in secrecy and suspicion that his entire presidency has been a litany of broken laws and promises, our citizens' faith in our own country ripped to shreds. Yet Bush goes bumbling along, grinning and spewing moronic one-liners, as though nobody understands what a colossal failure he has been.

I fear to the depth of my being that John McCain is just like him," - Jack Cafferty, CNN.

FLIP FLOP!!!!!

2008-07-29T09:44:00.003-04:00

The fucking audacity for him to so quickly flip-flop on the point-of-view for which he has so criticized Obama. Absolutely ludicrous.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/07/28/mccain.larryking/index.html?eref=rss_showbiz

I <3 NYC

2008-07-29T09:43:00.000-04:00

But I miss WM so much. Can't wait to get back!

"It’s time to end this war."

2008-07-21T16:08:00.001-04:00

My Plan for Iraq
By Barack Obama

CHICAGO — The call by Prime Minister Nuri Kamal al-Maliki for a timetable for the removal of American troops from Iraq presents an enormous opportunity. We should seize this moment to begin the phased redeployment of combat troops that I have long advocated, and that is needed for long-term success in Iraq and the security interests of the United States.

The differences on Iraq in this campaign are deep. Unlike Senator John McCain, I opposed the war in Iraq before it began, and would end it as president. I believed it was a grave mistake to allow ourselves to be distracted from the fight against Al Qaeda and the Taliban by invading a country that posed no imminent threat and had nothing to do with the 9/11 attacks. Since then, more than 4,000 Americans have died and we have spent nearly $1 trillion. Our military is overstretched. Nearly every threat we face — from Afghanistan to Al Qaeda to Iran — has grown.

In the 18 months since President Bush announced the surge, our troops have performed heroically in bringing down the level of violence. New tactics have protected the Iraqi population, and the Sunni tribes have rejected Al Qaeda — greatly weakening its effectiveness.
But the same factors that led me to oppose the surge still hold true. The strain on our military has grown, the situation in Afghanistan has deteriorated and we’ve spent nearly $200 billion more in Iraq than we had budgeted. Iraq’s leaders have failed to invest tens of billions of dollars in oil revenues in rebuilding their own country, and they have not reached the political accommodation that was the stated purpose of the surge.

The good news is that Iraq’s leaders want to take responsibility for their country by negotiating a timetable for the removal of American troops. Meanwhile, Lt. Gen. James Dubik, the American officer in charge of training Iraq’s security forces, estimates that the Iraqi Army and police will be ready to assume responsibility for security in 2009.

Only by redeploying our troops can we press the Iraqis to reach comprehensive political accommodation and achieve a successful transition to Iraqis’ taking responsibility for the security and stability of their country. Instead of seizing the moment and encouraging Iraqis to step up, the Bush administration and Senator McCain are refusing to embrace this transition — despite their previous commitments to respect the will of Iraq’s sovereign government. They call any timetable for the removal of American troops “surrender,” even though we would be turning Iraq over to a sovereign Iraqi government.

But this is not a strategy for success — it is a strategy for staying that runs contrary to the will of the Iraqi people, the American people and the security interests of the United States. That is why, on my first day in office, I would give the military a new mission: ending this war.
As I’ve said many times, we must be as careful getting out of Iraq as we were careless getting in. We can safely redeploy our combat brigades at a pace that would remove them in 16 months. That would be the summer of 2010 — two years from now, and more than seven years after the war began. After this redeployment, a residual force in Iraq would perform limited missions: going after any remnants of Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia, protecting American service members and, so long as the Iraqis make political progress, training Iraqi security forces. That would not be a precipitous withdrawal.

In carrying out this strategy, we would inevitably need to make tactical adjustments. As I have often said, I would consult with commanders on the ground and the Iraqi government to ensure that our troops were redeployed safely, and our interests protected. We would move them from secure areas first and volatile areas later. We would pursue a diplomatic offensive with every nation in the region on behalf of Iraq’s stability, and commit $2 billion to a new international effort to support Iraq’s refugees.

Ending the war is essential to meeting our broader strategic goals, starting in Afghanistan and Pakistan, where the Taliban is resurgent and Al Qaeda has a safe haven. Iraq is not the central front in the war on terrorism, and it never has been. As Adm. Mike Mullen, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, recently pointed out, we won’t have sufficient resources to finish the job in Afghanistan until we reduce our commitment to Iraq.

As president, I would pursue a new strategy, and begin by providing at least two additional combat brigades to support our effort in Afghanistan. We need more troops, more helicopters, better intelligence-gathering and more nonmilitary assistance to accomplish the mission there. I would not hold our military, our resources and our foreign policy hostage to a misguided desire to maintain permanent bases in Iraq.

In this campaign, there are honest differences over Iraq, and we should discuss them with the thoroughness they deserve. Unlike Senator McCain, I would make it absolutely clear that we seek no presence in Iraq similar to our permanent bases in South Korea, and would redeploy our troops out of Iraq and focus on the broader security challenges that we face. But for far too long, those responsible for the greatest strategic blunder in the recent history of American foreign policy have ignored useful debate in favor of making false charges about flip-flops and surrender.
It’s not going to work this time. It’s time to end this war.

A long-awaited post on this Day of Days

2008-07-17T13:20:00.002-04:00

Hi bitches,

I’m 21. Finally! How bout them apples? I am so excited to finally be legal – my liver, however, quakes with fear.

Last night was amazing. Peter, Emily and I caught a fantastic Ani DiFranco concert up on 175th (yes, 175th…ridic. Thats like, Antarctica from where I live). I’ve seen her once at the Norva, and she was awesome there, but this concert blew me away. I loved every minute of it. Her lyrics are absolutely phenomenal, and the songs beautiful and engaging. She sounded spot-on, and I really liked her new song. I’m definitely anticipating the new album!

Then we caught the long subway back, and headed immediately to Christopher Street for a fembot recharge at Starbucks. I got to use my ID for the first time ever at Monster, where we had a drink, and caught a hilarious drag show. One of the queens brought out free shots in test tubes, which was so fun. Another q’uayn, totally Betty Davis-ed out, sang a medley of ridiculous songs, complete with memorable lines from classic movies, all the while looking so…old drag queen is the only way I can describe it.

The we headed to our original stomping ground, our home-away-from-home here in NYC, The Duplex. Shanna was unfortunately not there, but we had Kate Pazakis, so all was good. She bought us two rounds of shots, led the crowd in a Happy Birthday, then proceeded to dedicate “Defying Gravity,” a son she systematically refuses to sing ever, just for me. It was magical. I really felt at home there. There’s nothing like walking into a bar where people recognize you, and would do this all for you. We made friend with some totally random and fun people, ogled this freaking HOT Scottish guy, and just had a gay old time. Peter and I got pizza on our stumble home and had a nice chat as we devoured our slices, and tried to sober up a bit before bed. In all, I had a phenomenal night, and couldn’t have asked for better company.

I’m at work now, somehow. I got maybe 3 hours of sleep, and definitely woke up still drunk ($200 bar tab between three of us, not including the free shots! OHMYGOD!). I am excited, though, because Mac, my pseudo-boss, wants to take me out to lunch and a beer for my birthday. I love that fact that I can just go and grab a beer, without worrying that I’ll get carded. In fact, I hope I get carded! Plus, drinking on the clock – totally an awesome idea.

Tonight, I have been promised a birthday I will never remember. Peter is the master of ceremonies, and has kept everything top secret, only promising to make sure I get from place to place while I am fed drinks. I am most assuredly not getting a wink of sleep, and am looking forward to being drunk the entire workday tomorrow…which should be intense. Will is coming up for the weekend, and I can’t wait to see him! I will be joined by all of my friends here in the city, and I am excited beyond belief.

This is just such an amazing summer, and a necessary experience. I needed it to prove that the city is where I belong, but also to give me some perspective on school. Despite having the time of my life up here, I almost constantly have an ache for school. I desperately miss my friends, and I wish they could be sharing this experience with me. However, I know I have a full year with them coming up, during which I will be 21 and can do as I please, and I just KNOW that this year will be one of the best in my life. Everything is really good right now. I feel revitalized and excited and ready for anything. Yeah. Life is good.

Much love!

D

This is an amazing article

2008-06-23T11:25:00.001-04:00

Peter sent this to me, and I can't help but post it. Its not long, and I highly recommend taking a few minutes to read it. It really is very well-written and has some great new ideas.

Enjoy!

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121400362307993399.html?mod=rss_Today's_Most_Popular

It's about to get pretty gay up in here...

2008-06-18T10:45:00.003-04:00

After what can be best described as a Broadway drought in my life, I'm finally back on track. I tend to get really obsessed with a musical, listen to it over and over (and over) until I get sick of it, only to go back to it a month later. Did it with RENT, then Wicked, Evita, Les Miserables, and maybe a few more. My last ones were Hairspray and Dreamgirls, because of the movies. I played those damn shows over and over in my car. Then came a silence for months. I haven't been listening to musicals at all, really.

Well, kids, I'm back! Peter, Em and I watched the Tony's Sunday and my Great White Way fever is in full force. I've been listening to Patti LuPone's Gypsy songs and am now completely obsessed with Spring Awakening. I'm really depressed, though, cuz I'm IN NYC, but i can't afford to see all (any of?) the shows I want to. I reeeeeeally want to see, in no real order:

1. Spring Awakening
2. Gypsy
3. Xanadu
4. In the Heights
5. Wicked (no matter how many times I see it, it will always be on my list, lol)

How to see these shows, though, is the problem. Ugh I need a sugar daddy...

YAY

2008-06-17T14:36:00.003-04:00

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/18/us/17cnd-marriage.html

One thing that drives me crazy is when people say, "Traditionally, marriage is between a man and a women, and thats how it should remain." It is this whole inability to accept change that destroys any hope their argument might have. If things always remain the way they 'traditionally' were, then we would be stuck in a stagnant society! It wouldnt work! No progress whatsoever! We have never, ever been a country of no progress. Why start now? 50 years ago, marriage was between a man and woman of the same race. Now, no one bats an eye when a black woman and a white man (or any combination of races) get married. Bitches need to accept that the same will be true of gay people some day.

Geez.

How do you like them apples?

2008-06-17T12:29:00.002-04:00

http://www.pollster.com/08USPresGEMvO600.png

Obama '08!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE

2008-06-10T09:58:00.003-04:00

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/06/09/fetus.snatched.ap/index.html?eref=rss_us

Obviously, we need to find a punishment worse than life in prison that doesn't involve the death penalty, but ensures a full lifetime of extreme pain. Like, maybe living in a cell in which every surface delivers a painful electric shock every 15 minutes. Or regular beatings. I don't know, but all punishments offered currently are far too kind for women like this...

Some dirt on McCain...yessss

2008-06-09T14:32:00.000-04:00

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1024927/The-wife-John-McCain-callously-left-behind.html

disgusting

2008-06-06T18:30:00.001-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-IrhRSwF9U&eurl=http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/feature/2008/05/27/sexism_sells/

Well put:

2008-06-06T12:54:00.002-04:00

Found this on a CNN blog comment roll. It basically is how I feel on the subject and is very well-written. More Clinton supporters need to read it.

June 6th, 2008 12:04 pm ET

To Hillary Supporters:

There sure are a lot of idiots that post on these blogs. There are a lot of idiots on both sides. Some of the things I see from Obama supporters make me cringe, as do some of the things I see from Clinton supporters. But recently I've been seeing this sentiment a lot: "I'm a Clinton supporter, but I will not vote for Obama. My candidate was dragged through the mud, and her supporters constantly belittle us. It's time we make a statement and show the Democratic party how we feel…."

I'd like to respond with two points. First, I think it's completely inappropriate to judge a candidate by a small sample of his/her supporters. Obama was endorsed by Hamas, but he did not ask for it (originally, they've now disavowed their support). Certainly he does not share their views. We've all seen the videos of people in WV and KY saying they could never vote for a black man….but that doesn't make Hillary a racist. And I'm sure almost all militant white supremacists will be voting for McCain, but that doesn't make him one. The point is - these candidates cannot control what their supporters say, and they don't choose who supports them. It is unfair to judge them on that basis. Please do not do so.

Second, I sympathize with your desire to make a statement….especially with the women who feel that this election has embodied the social prejudices females as a group have faced in this country. Though I think the challenges Obama faced as a black man were of equal severity, I agree that Clinton was given a rough treatment. I think, however, what she has accomplished will prove to have made a great positive impact. Make no mistake: There will be a woman president (my sense is that Clinton will actually be that woman).

So voting against Obama to make a statement will actually do a great disservice to Clinton and her legacy. She will tell you the same thing. A vote for McCain is a vote for the deaths of thousands more men and women in Iraq. It's a vote to end a woman's right to choose. It's a vote to continue the foreclosure crisis and put more families in streets. It's a vote to give more money and power to big business and special interests. It's a vote to keep American jobs overseas. It's a vote to keep millions without healthcare. It's a vote for many things. But it is not a vote for the interests of women, or any other of your candidates ideals. A vote for McCain will make your life worse, and that's a guarantee.

I respect your right to make a statement. I completely recognize your power to dictate the results of this election. And I understand that you feel the Democratic Party no longer reflects your values. But does the alternative? Do you think Republicans will ever choose a woman as their nominee? Do you honestly think their values, and values of their supporters (the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Anne Coulter) are more in line with yours than the DNC's? Because they aren't. Just please realize the consequences of your choice. There is more at stake here than bruised feelings or support for an individual. There are jobs. There are homes. There are families. There are lives. Please don't make the wrong choice.

Now, if any one out there can make a clear, policy-based argument that justifies why a Clinton supporter prefers McCain over Obama, I'd be open to it. After all, I voted for Clinton in my state's primary.

-GC in Virginia

Dems want Hillary

2008-06-06T12:46:00.002-04:00

June 6, 2008
CNN Poll: Majority of Dems want Clinton to be VP
Posted: 11:54 AM ET

From CNN Deputy Political Director Paul Steinhauser

WASHINGTON (CNN) — A majority of Democrats think Barack Obama should select Hillary Clinton as his running mate, according to a new national poll.

Fifty-four percent of registered Democrats questioned in a CNN/Opinion Research Corporation poll out Friday think Obama should name his rival as his running mate, with 43 percent saying no. The poll is the first national survey conducted since Senator Obama (D-Illinois) claimed the Democratic presidential nomination Tuesday night following the end of the primary season. Senator Clinton, D-New York, is expected to suspend her campaign and back Obama in a scheduled address Saturday. (View full poll results [PDF])

It seems men and women don’t see eye to eye on this question, with 60 percent of Democratic women saying Clinton should be named as Obama’s running mate. Only 46 percent of male Democrats agree, with 51 percent of them saying no. (WATCH: Panelists weigh McCain, Obama's VP options)

“What do women want, Sigmund Freud famously asked. The answer appears to be Clinton on the ticket. It’s pretty clear that many Democratic women are miffed and that Obama has to be very careful how he deals with Senator Clinton,” says CNN Senior Political Analyst Bill Schneider. (WATCH: The war over women voters)

If Obama names someone else as his running mate, 24 percent of those polled say Clinton should try to override that decision at the Democratic convention in Denver in August, with 75 percent saying no.

"Democrats would like Barack Obama to choose Hillary Clinton as his running mate, but they seem to recognize that it is his choice to make," says CNN Polling Director Keating Holland. "Some will be disappointed if Obama does not pick Clinton, but not disappointed enough to want a floor fight at the convention."

The survey also found that the economy remains issue number one in the minds of Americans. Forty-two percent of those polled say that the economy will be the most important issue in the decision on the presidency. Iraq remains in second place in importance, at 24 percent, with health care at 12 percent.

The CNN/Opinion Research Corporation poll was conducted Wednesday and Thursday, with 921 registered voters, including 435 registered voters who describe themselves as Democrats or independents who lean Democratic. The sampling error for most results is plus or minus 4.5 percentage points.

My collected thoughts on "The Dream Ticket"

2008-06-06T09:58:00.002-04:00

Ok, here goes:

I'm pretty sure anyone reading this is well aware that I have supported Senator Clinton through this entire primary season. They also should know that it is not because I disliked Obama in any way; I simply liked Clinton more.

However, now we know that the presidential Democratic nominee will be Barack Obama, and that is that. The last few days have been quite sad, as I had really, really wanted Clinton to get the nomination. But here we are, and now the question is: who does Obama choose as VP. I'm sure no one would be surprised to hear me say it should be Clinton, but hear me out.

Do I believe that, in terms of ideology and compatibility, do I believe that Clinton and Obama are the best pair? No, I do not. She is basically the antithesis of his campaign (though I disagree wholeheartedly with the extent to which people demonized her during the primaries). If we are looking simply at his message, and trying to find a VP that meshes with it, then she would not be the best choice.

HOWEVER, do I believe that Obama should choose Clinton if he wants to win? Yes. Right now, he is in a statistical tie with McCain, within the standard of error. However, looking at the electoral college, he will be handily defeated by McCain. Looking at Hillary, she fares a bit better than Obama in populary vote percentages, but beats him in electoral votes by over 100 points! She has the big, important swing states. A big reason for this is because she competes directly with McCain for the working-class voters, and does well. Obama struggles with those voters. Incorporating the two has shown to serve as a one-two-punch, with each of them drawing their own section of voters.

Another thing to look at is the fact that, unfortunately, many Clinton supporters feel that she was treated poorly, and that Obama 'stole' the nomination. I don't necessarily agree with that, but its how they feel. Many of them have announced that they plan to jump over to McCain, for various reasons. Putting Clinton on the ticket will bring them back; I also feel that adding Clinton will upset Obama supporters initially, but I feel that they support him enough (and dislike McCain enough) that it wouldn't really cause a break.

So I can see why people are against the so-called "Dream Ticket," but I am afraid it needs to happen. We NEED to beat McCain. I think this is the only way to ensure that.

Whew... (Anne, don't hate me!)

Please please PLEASE let this happen

2008-06-03T10:36:00.003-04:00

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/06/02/clinton.message/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Despite the fact that I have always though that a Clinton Obama ticket was ideal (basically a guaranteed 16 years of Democratic presidents, with Obama gaining all of the experience people want him to have, and a strong experience leader to get us the fuck out of the millions of problems this country faces right now, thanks to Bush), I actually think that an Obama Clinton ticket would be the optimal situation right now. That way we can combine the Obama supporters and Clinton very different supporters without scaring people off to McCain's side. Also, we have Obama's new ideas and different views on politics, with a strong, experienced VP to back him up. Besides, we all know how much impact a VP can have on a president (see: Dick Cheney).

Of course, Obama supporters are freaked out that Clinton would take over and overshadow Obama, but if Obama is as strong a president as we have seen, then that shouldn't be an issue. I really, honestly and truly think that Clinton wants what is best for the country, and that people are demonizing her. If a man did this (and recent reports say that Obama DID do this shit to be elected to the Senate), it would be fine. But its a woman, thus a divisive bitch who will stop at nothing. But lets be honest here. From the get-go, Obama has been the media's star and Clinton the floor mat to be trampled. She never ever gets good press, while Obama so easily escapes these controversies (which, granted, are stupid and silly and not that big of a deal), having to do or say very little. Clinton, however, never gets off so easy.

Aaaaaaanyways, as I was saying. I really want an Obama Clinton ticket. I think that is our best shot at handily defeating the Republicans. So lets make that happen, people!

She's still got my vote

2008-06-02T14:40:00.000-04:00

Statement from Hillary Clinton On Gay Pride Month

As we begin Gay Pride Month, I join the LGBT community in celebrating an historic year in which our country continues to make progress towards the fair and equal treatment of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans. Still, we have so much work to do. I look forward to working with the LGBT community to make sure that all Americans in committed relationships have equal benefits and that nothing stands in the way of loving couples who want to adopt children in need. We need to expand our federal hate crimes legislation and pass a fully-inclusive Employment Non-Discrimination Act. And finally, we need to put an end to the failed policy of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Courage, honor, patriotism and sacrifice - the traits that define our men and women in uniform - have nothing to do with sexual orientation.

To each and every LGBT American, I say this: You have done so much to help this country understand your lives by simply being open and honest about who you are and living your lives with dignity. Thank you for your courage. It is time that we recognize your hard work. I know that this country is ready for changes in the law that reflect the evolution in our hearts. You deserve a government that treats you with the respect you deserve.

America deserves a President who appeals to the best in each of us, not the worst; a President who values and respects all Americans and treats all Americans equally no matter who they are or who they love. That is truly the promise of America.

Good for them

2008-05-29T18:11:00.002-04:00

http://www.kvii.com/news/news_story.aspx?id=139112

It continues to amaze me what that the religious right feels so comfortable making decisions for the rest of the country, that they feel that the religion they believe in must govern my life too.

Fortunately, this country is finally beginning to fight back and win. Even in such small displays as this, a high school yearbook (nothing to do with a church).

At long last!

2008-05-21T20:57:00.004-04:00

Here is the apartment Peter and I will be living in this summer!!!!!!!

FINALLY

this is the best the GOP could do?

2008-05-21T00:53:00.001-04:00

Just...wow.

what the hell?!?!

2008-05-10T15:19:00.002-04:00

i CANNOT believe they just shot her, in the head, execution style, on camera. she was not an undeveloped character! that's not supposed to happen! WTF!

sometimes Lost is the worst show ever.

This is why sports are stupid

2008-05-05T23:13:00.001-04:00

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/baseball/mlb/05/05/yankees.redsox.death.ap/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

Honestly? WHO CARES?!?!?!

SO MUCH STUFF

2008-05-04T17:29:00.002-04:00

I thought exam time would be really relaxing. Not so much...

Peter and I have been on a frantic apartment search for this summer. Its easy to forget that we will be moving up there in LESS THAN TWO WEEKS. And we don't have an apartment yet. We have been scouring craigslist and speaking with anyone who might help us. We have a couple of potential places, and plan on making a trip up once we get home. Hopefully we'll figure it out.

Its funny. We have been talking about it and searching for so long, I actually forget that its going to happen. I am ACTUALLY living in NEW FUCKING YORK this summer. Ridiculous! This is going to be such an amazing experience and I am so glad I am going to experience it with Peter. I don't know that there is anyone else I would want to do this with, to be honest. So yes. We will keep searching. We will find a fabulous apartment. This is going to happen!

Unfortunately, during this frantic search, I am still dealing with internship issues too. I got an offer from Verizon to work in their HR office ($14/hr) in Orangeburg, NY. 20 miles north of the city. Its a great opportunity. I mean, I was selected from hundreds of applicants after an intense couple of weeks of corresponding with them. The people I have spoken with seem really really nice. However, to get there each day, I would have to take the subway to Port Authority. This subway ride, keeping in mind NYC rush hour, will probably be at least 30-45 mins. Maybe more. I need to be there to catch a bus at 7:10 am. Early!!!!!!!! THEN I have to take a bus to Verizon, getting there around 8:45. Oh my god, so much commute. I have to do the same thing to get home, which means I'll get back around 8 pm. Not cool.

On the other hand, I have been speaking with people at Aon Consulting. A family friend sent my resume to the HR office, and they contacted me, saying they wanted to give me an internship. It would be $15/hr, and in the city, down on Water St. They started the ball rolling, and are just waiting for my approval. BUT I told Verizon I would work there, and its getting really close to my start date. I am praying and hoping that Aon will get back to me soon so I can tell Verizon no. Ugh. Its driving me crazy! I am tempted to tell Verizon no now, and just pray that Aon comes through, because they have all been very assuring that I am most likely going to get it. If I don't I am not even sure I could handle Verizon's commute.

Ahh I hate this! Too. Much. Stresssssssssssssssssss.

Oh well, I'll deal. Tonight is the last Mug Night of the year! Sad, but the next one I attend, I will be LEGAL. YESSSSSSS. I'm gonna wake up whenever I want tomorrow, head to the beach for a bit, then come back to relax and study a bit for my Spanish exam Tuesday. After the exam, I will be done with this school year. Last ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT-WINGS with Peter, then hopefully ridiculousness. Leaving Wednesday, probably going straight to NYC to look for apartments, then home for a week or so before heading right back up to begin the amazing summer ahead.

Life is so crazy right now!

Fabulous!

Sen. Obama rakes in oil money

2008-04-29T22:49:00.000-04:00

Sen. Obama accepted more money from oil company executives last month than any other candidate, while he ran an ad saying he didn't take money from oil companies. "Sen. Barack Obama continued accepting donations from oil company executives and employees last month even as he aired ads in which he stated he took no oil company money, his campaign finance reports show. Obama has taken at least $263,000 from oil company executives, family members and employees since entering the presidential race last year, including $46,000 last month. At least $140,000 has come in chunks of between $1,000 and $2,300, the maximum permitted under federal law."

LA Times, 4/24/08

CAN'T CONCENTRATE!!!

2008-04-29T16:04:00.003-04:00

I am in such a nerve-wracked state, I cannot concentrate. And its not even about school!

Over the past few weeks, I applied to two different internships. One, with Verizon Wireless. It was forwarded to me by the Director of HR at my dad's company. I sent an email, set up a phone interview (which was hardcore intense!), and then waited.

In this waiting period, I was in touch with a family friend about a potential internship with his company, Aon Consulting. He said he would forward my resume to their HR department in Chicago. She emailed me and we set up a phone interview for that Thursday.

Of course, that Wednesday, I got a call from Verizon, telling me I got the internship. The one-person internship. At Verizon Wireless. I still don't get how I got it! I said yes, and had to take the drug test, which I learned today that I passed. Yay!

However, here's the deal. The Verizon internship would take place in Orangeburg, NY. Which is 20 miles north of the city. I would have to take the subway to the train, take a train to a town near Orangeburg, and then catch a taxi to Verizon. That's alot of travel to do twice a day. Considering I would have to be there by 8.

Sooooo, I called Aon, and let them know that I got the other offer, and asked about the likelihood of receiving an internship with them. She informed me that she would find out and let me know as soon as possible.

And now, I wait. Knowing that, if Aon accepts me, I have to call Verizon and tell them that, sorry, I am backing out about a week after I said yes. And about two weeks before the internship would start. This is NOT a conversation I want to have. I am so nervous right now, I don't know what to do. I have an exam tomorrow, and I haven't started studying because I can't focus.

I need to calm down. Why is everything so difficult???

Clinton would win!

2008-04-29T14:08:00.001-04:00

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/04/28/poll-shows-clinton-has-better-shot-of-beating-mccain/

Basically, if the election was today, Hillary would beat McCain. However, Obama and McCain would tie.

Hmmmmmmmmmm

Larry King is a wonderful man

2008-04-26T02:17:00.000-04:00

http://perezhilton.com/2008-04-24-stop-the-violence

Maya Angelou

2008-04-26T02:12:00.001-04:00

http://perezhilton.com/2008-04-24-words-of-wisdom

From Maya Angelou:

"Dear Friend:

I am writing to tell you about my friend, Hillary Clinton, and why I am standing with her in her campaign for the presidency. I know the kind of president Hillary Clinton will be because I know the person she is.

I am inspired by her courage and her honesty. She is a reliable and trustworthy person. She is someone I not only admire but one for whom I have profound affection.

Hillary does not waver in standing up for those who need a champion. She has always been a passionate protector of families. As a child, she was taught that all God’s children are equal, and as a mother, she understood that her child wasn’t safe unless all children were safe. As I wrote about Hillary recently in a praise song: “She is the prayer of every woman, and every man who longs for fair play, healthy families, good schools and a balanced economy.”

It may be easy to view Hillary Clinton through the narrow lens of those who would write her off or grind her down. Hillary sees us as we are, black and brown and white and yellow and pink and relishes our differences knowing that fundamentally we are all more alike than we are unalike. She is able to look through complexion and see community.

She has endured great scrutiny, and still she dares greatly. Hillary Clinton will not give up on you, and all she asks is that you do not give up on her. She is a long-distance runner. I am honored to say I am with her for the long run.

I am supporting Hillary Clinton because I know that she will make the most positive difference in people’s lives and she will help our country become what it can be. Whether you are her supporter, leaning towards her, undecided, or supporting someone else, I believe Hillary Clinton will represent you – she will be a president for all Americans. It is no small thing that along the way we will make history together.

Vote for Hillary Clinton and show your support www.hillaryclinton.com. I know she will make us proud."

interesting

2008-04-24T13:00:00.002-04:00

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/04/24/campaign.wrap/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

"Only 50 percent of Clinton voters in Pennsylvania said they would support Obama if he is the nominee. Twenty-six percent said they would back McCain over Obama, and 19 percent said they would not vote at all.

Among Obama's Pennsylvania voters, 67 percent said they would support Clinton if she is the party's nominee. Seventeen percent said they would back McCain instead, and 12 percent said they would choose neither."

I thought that would be the opposite, to be honest. More Obama supporters would support Hillary than vice versa. Seems like Hillary is the safer bet (at least for PA voters)!

this broke my heart

2008-04-22T10:20:00.001-04:00

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_a7jkcMVp5Vg/SAq33aX9WVI/AAAAAAAAEtI/QaFJVCnQQ2c/s1600-h/watch.jpg

Come on Pennsylvania!!!

2008-04-22T10:07:00.002-04:00

You can do this! Vote Hillary '08!!!

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/04/22/pa.primary/index.html?eref=rss_mostpopular

I seriously, honestly, with all my heart want Hillary to win this election. Obama won't be so bad, and if he gets the nomination, all of my weight will be thrown behind him, but I really don't believe that he knows what he is doing. He is great with people, but there is no evidence to back up the idea that he could successfully run our country. And we will be FUCKED if we get another one of those (see George W. Bush)

YEAH BITCHES

2008-04-16T17:09:00.002-04:00

Ninety-fucking-eight on my Organizational Behavior and Management final exam! 98!

Whew.

boo Equity Markets and Portfolio Management exam tomorrow

2008-04-14T19:12:00.001-04:00

This is not going to be a fun 22 hours. Except for the little bit of time I spend sleeping.

Sigh.

Why am I a Finance major again? Especially considering the fact that I am not going to do this for my career.

Blahhh

DAMNIT!

2008-04-10T14:47:00.003-04:00

I was reading PerezHilton.com and he had a freaking Lost spoiler on there!!!

"Hobbit turned Lost star Dominic Monaghan and island show co-star Evangeline Lilly are a couple again, according to new reports.

They split up three months ago but "never stopped loving each other" according to an insider.
Awwww.

Omnia vincit amor!

"She remained in Hawaii for the show, and he moved back to L.A. when he was killed off, so the distance took its toll," says the insider. "They decided to take a break, but it was really hard on them both."

Frequent telephone calls and under the radar visits just reinforced to Evangeline and Dominic that they belonged together, explains the source. "It was as simple as that."
How sweet! "

I didn't know!!!!!

note to self

2008-04-09T17:20:00.001-04:00

stop overreacting. everything is not about you

:-)

Something is strained.

2008-04-09T12:45:00.002-04:00

You know it. I know it. What's going on? Talk to me.

REGISTRATION

2008-04-01T16:33:00.002-04:00

Ugh, almost done with it. Why does it suck so much at this school? I never hear people complain this much at other schools. ANYWAYZZZZ, here is my schedule, assuming I can get into Evolutionary Psych despite it being listed as only for majors right now. Which is bogus, since minors need to take these classes too.

Mon/Wed:
Modern Fiction (pass/fail), 3-4:20

Tues/Thurs:
Operations Technology, 11-12:20
Coporate Financial Strategy, 12:30-1:50
Strategic Management, 2-3:20
Evolutionary Psychology, 3:30 - 5

Fri:
Nothing!

Soooo yea, Tues/Thurs is majorly intense, but I don't start til 11 and I feel like the classes get better as the day goes by. But look at MWF!!! First class at 3, and no classes on Friday! That is amazing. I will just have to take advantage of my time, and get shit done ahead of time. It will be good for me. And I could def do some awesome weekend trips. And beaching it MWF when I can. Score.

Also, Strategic Management, I believe, ends a month early. Which would be fun, and make TR that much more manageable. Smegzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I LOVE HER

2008-03-22T14:07:00.001-04:00

Anne Hathaway is amazing. And this is why:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZuIdQVEVY0

you ACTUALLY need to watch this!

2008-03-22T12:30:00.001-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU8DDYz68kM

watch it all the way through. there are like 10 surprises!!!

left out

2008-03-21T02:43:00.002-04:00

So, as most people know, I have spent much of this semester reconnecting with alot of people that I barely ever saw last semester. I noticed that I lost alot of connections, or at least, let them suffer by spending almost every spare second at the Unit. Don't get me wrong, last semester was a shitton of fun; however, I felt really distant from alot of people. So I was determined to not let that happen this semester.

So I made sure to go all different places every night. I made plans with people. I spread myself out. I went new places. I tried to maintain old connections while making new ones. I never went the same place two nights in a row.

And you know what? I am exhausted. I tried to do too much. On the one hand, I have truly strengthened one friendship, which means the world to me (sqanque). And I have maintained some great ones (tru geauxgz). BUT I feel that I also sacrificed alot. By spreading myself so thin, I kept myself at a distance from so many people. And now, I feel like I lost alot. Especially from the people I spent most of my time with last semester. No longer am I included in everyday activities. I have to force myself into outings. I need to be proactive and call people, asking what the plans are. I swear, if I just sat in my apartment all day, it would take weeks before I got a call asking me to do something. And you know what? That fucking hurts. Alot. Especially considering I spent so much time and energy on them last semester (and this semester, if not as much as last).

Ugh. I hate feeling like this. This mentality has followed me since middle school, and I can never get past it, no matter how much I try. And the worst part is, no matter what I do, the people I wish would understand never will.

All three candidates in a statistical tie

2008-03-18T14:12:00.002-04:00

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/03/18/candidate.poll/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

This is going to be SUCH an interesting election. Also, very very scary.

I'm interested to see that Clinton is still holding her own here. You go, girl!

You go, grrl

2008-03-10T00:50:00.002-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcMEL3_YsVI&eurl

tru shrug

2008-03-07T02:24:00.002-05:00

my toe really hurts. like really bad. but i can tell that people are annoyed with me talking about it, so i am trying to stop. but honestly, when your toe is swollen to twice its usual size, the nail is pure purple and the base is completely black, something is wrong. it will go away soon...i hope.

also, i have had a bit of a relapse. not good.

Looks like I made a mess again
Heartbreak everywhere I step
This fire is getting hot again
But I touch the flame ‘cause I’m a curious cat
Creeping where I don’t belong
Finding out what I knew all along
Crying all alone
And it’s all my fault, all my fault

i'm being stupid. i don't want to talk about it. well, i do, but i'd rather it all just go away and talking about it makes it more real, so i don't know what i want.

also, this is not as big a deal as i am making it, so don't worry :-)

well then...

2008-02-13T21:50:00.002-05:00

Interestingly enough, I was proven wrong. And in a good way :-)

that feels better

2008-02-12T15:48:00.000-05:00

For the first time in a few weeks, I feel truly liberated. This needed to happen:

letting go
Between JP Brandt and You

so it is now pretty obvious that this whole friends thing isn't going to work. and it probably never was going to work, i guess. i'm not going to go into my feelings on the subject, as they really aren't important right now (and it would take me quite a while to go through them).

just letting you know that i'm gonna stop trying to reach out to you. i'm not going to IM you, message you, whatever. any attempt to do so thus far has only been to try and determine the state of things, and the lack of reciprocity has been quite telling. in reaching out multiple times and getting no real response, I have begun to feel that to others i must seem quite stalker-ish, which is definitely not something i want to be. so thats that.

to be honest, i still don't know what really went down. i really wanted (and still want) to believe that you meant everything you said, that it really wasn't me but that you weren't ready, but i think things have become clearer. i don't get it, as i thought we were moving in a great direction and seemed on the same page, but i don't doubt that i may have been delusional. things could definitely have been handled better (i'm a big boy, i can handle being told the truth, thank you very much) but, since i have definitely been in your situation, i do not deny the difficulty of your situation.

so i wish you luck. it was nice knowing you, and who knows what will come of the future. maybe we will cross paths again, maybe not. i'm not mad, just confused and slightly disappointed. i hope you figure yourself out, though. it is so important to just live your life, to do what makes you happy. i wish that for you, i really do. i hope that things are going better at home as well.

Goodbye,

Dan

Hillary for President

2008-02-05T14:27:00.000-05:00

http://perezhilton.com/2008-02-05-a-message-to-lgbt-americans

She may have her weaknesses, and I am not sure where I stand on universal healthcare, but she just officially got my vote.

And I am proud of it.

Going to vote for her in the primaries immediately after class.

,zkjsdkjdhfkahf,knfc

2008-02-03T02:30:00.001-05:00

gahhh i can't break out of this spell that has such a hold on me! on the outside i look happy and normal, but i just don't feel that on the inside. Its like...standing next to fire on a cold day, and although the fire warms your skin, it doesn't fix the cold inside.

and the worst part is, i can't pinpoint what exactly is causing the coldness, the difference. i know a couple possibilities, but damned if i can figure out which is the biggest problem.

though, i have an idea. i feel lame about how stupid it is, but one cannot control what one feels. and i feel lonely. i really do. i got a taste of togetherness and then lost it and i want it back. granted (and i do understand this) it was just a taste. didn't last long. at all. but the stakes were high and i lost. and i'm still recouping.

Someday
When we're at the same place
When we're on the same road
When it's okay to hold my hand
Without feeling lost
Without all the excuses
When it's just because you love me, you let me, you need me
Then maybe, maybe
All you have to do is hold me
And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be
If you'll trust me, love me, let me
Maybe, maybe

maybe tomorrow will be better...

i should have known

2008-01-24T15:15:00.000-05:00

that it was too good to be true.

(this is my blog, i'll whine as much as I want, thankyouverymuch. Also, venting here prevents me from doing it much to people's faces)

I was quite skeptical at first. I didn't put much energy into it, because I have had a rough past with these kinds of things. Over break, I slowly gained optimism, but pretty much kept it hidden, afraid to put it out there, to suffer public humiliation when nothing came of it.

But once we got back, things were good. I ventured out with my newfound optimism about my future. After the party, I freely and honestly answered questions, informing others of my excitement for the future. I did so even as things started to crumble, as my confidence decreased.

And now, here we are. The moment I expected from the beginning. And of course, I am regretting putting my feelings out there. I know, its bad luck, its not telling of my future. I know one of these days things will go in my favor, but jeez it sucks right now. My bubble got burst after such a long time of never letting it grow too big, and now I have to pick up the pieces and I am not sure when I will ever let it grow that big again.

ack. boys suck. i should just be straight.

...

2008-01-23T11:54:00.000-05:00

so that's what "It's not you, it's me" feels like...

nice!

2008-01-14T09:37:00.001-05:00

http://perezhilton.com/2008-01-14-double-the-potter

I am SO FUCKING EXCITED for this!

whew

2008-01-14T09:20:00.000-05:00

So I got up bright and early to go to court for the tickets I got the night before my finance exam last month. I had gotten pulled over for turning left when the left turn signal was red. I didn't see it, as I was focused on the all-nighter I had ahead of me, so I had no idea why I was being pulled over. I had also forgotten to get my car inspected though it was due in November, so that added another $30 offense to the $100 (!!!) traffic light violation and $61 in court fees.

Fortunately, because I got inspected the next day and it was close to the due date, the judge (who was a less fierce and much friendlier version of Judge Judy) dropped that charge. Also, since the officer said I told him I didn't see the light and I confirmed that, she dropped the light violation to $50 plus fees, so in all I paid $111, which is $80 less than I was going to pay.

Whew.

why???

2007-12-29T13:00:00.000-05:00

I woke up yesterday and my left eyelid was a bit puffy. At first I thought it was pink eye, but fortunately its not. My uncle told me I have an infection or a stye, and that you basically just have to wait for it to go away on its own. This morning I woke up and its worse. I look 'special' because one of my eyes is more closed than the other. Like, I honestly look slow. xjkfbsakljhfxlkfbdkbfk

And natch, I have family dinner for my dad's side so I know my cousins will have a good laugh over this. Even worse, NYE is two days away, and for all I know, I will still have it when I go down to DC w/ Peter.

Ughhhhhh GO AWAY.

ALSO

2007-12-23T21:45:00.000-05:00

there may be a boy in my future.

we'll see how that goes...

yay break

2007-12-23T21:23:00.000-05:00

So...break is nice so far.

I hung around school for a bit, just to get to chill with friends, sleep in and party at night. Had a great time, but came home on Friday to see family.

I do love being home. My parents are awesome. They refuse to keep me on a leash when I am home. They take me to meals, let me do my thing and I love them for it. I get along well with my siblings much better now that I am away, so its nice to see them as we have little/no contact when I am at school. I love my friends (though there are really only a few I like to see when I am home and they know who they are).

Its just...

I guess I am not really the same person I was when I graduated high school. Who is, I guess, but it seems significant. I talked to my mom about it, and she acknowledged that I have 'evolved' while at school, which makes being home difficult. In high school, I spent so much time at home, in my room. I hung out with friends here and there, but not every day. I watched tv, read, talked to people on aim, etc.

Now, at school, I am much more active socially. Rarely am I content sitting in my apartment for long periods of time. I crave activity. I like to go out, hang with friends, smoke, drink, enjoy life. I am on the move, constantly, and I have grown to need this activity. So being home, chillin and waiting for plans to spring up is really difficult. My family is constantly doing their own thing. My siblings have their own friends who they are with all the time. If not, they are playing basketball, with my parents in tow. My parents have their own errands to run, as well as work, etc.

So I make due, but its weird.

Anyways, I have had a good time since being home. Late night Minella's trip with Drew, Laura and the rest of the sophomores. Last night was one of the more fun nights I've had at home in a while. Laura, Mike, Jesse and I played kings, watched Mean Girls (complete with a drinking game), got drunk and had a good time. I may or may not have kissed a boy, but it was all in good fun for both of us, nothing more. In general, I guess I just like drinking with friends. This may or not make me an alcoholic (see previous post, I think), but whetev, its cool when you are in college, right?

I will be pretty busy this break. Christmas will involve family obligations, then Drew's birthday, then the Bermans come up for a week from Florida. Peter gets back from the British Virgin Islands (JEALOUS) on the 30th, and I am so stoked for New Years with him and the DC houghs. More hanging with the cousins til I go to NYC for a CitiGroup friends and family reception and hanging with Peter and more of his friends. Then I'll be saying goodbye again and headed back to school to work at OG for a while to make money for the next semester. In there, I need to see friends more, buy Christmas presents for a ridic amound of people, and sleep. So yea, I'll be busy.

I'm gonna get back to watching Live Free or Die Hard with Kev.

mwah.

Post 100

2007-12-13T02:08:00.000-05:00

We’re not perfect.

We laugh too hard, we’re way too loud and we make complete fools out of ourselves

We’re much too comfortable with each other and a little too close for comfort

Our smiles are genuine,

We make our drinks too strong,

But somehow we know

That being together is what’s going to make us last forever

<3jt,ac,kg,en,rt,bjc<3

i think...

2007-12-11T19:44:00.000-05:00

i might be becoming an alcoholic

also...i think I'm ok with that...

Did I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

2007-12-06T18:41:00.000-05:00

why is this song so perfect?
---------------------------------------------

"Almost Lover"
A Fine Frenzy

You fingertips against my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images

You sang me spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you'd never ever forget these images, no

I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy
To walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
I should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

i'm being absolutely ridiculous

2007-12-05T10:11:00.000-05:00

but i can't help it. and i don't know why...

wow

2007-12-04T00:34:00.000-05:00

I was just elected Treasurer of Theta Delta Chi

what have I gotten myself into?

not doing so well

2007-12-02T23:05:00.001-05:00

i am having so much trouble dealing with this right now. i don't really know why i am so hung up and thrown for a loop. i know i'm being silly, but i just can't help it.

lets dig into it, shall we?

Pretty much everyone knows I have the tendency to hook up with random people. this doesn't really bother me. I wasn't wired with the view of hooking up with someone as being anything more than that. Sexual release. I don't feel guilty after hooking up. I don't attempt to forge a relationship to make myself feel justified. I just...don't. If both parties enjoy it, then they should do it again, and maybe something emotional will be formed. If not, then thats that. Move on.

Looking back, I have realized that I haven't really ever (well, one other time...) hooked up with someone and actually wanted to continue, to do it again. Every other time, I was ready to move on. I didn't feel any connection.

But now...its this new feeling. I liked it. I liked him. I wanted this to not be the last time. Alas, it seems it will be, as he has a boyfriend. Which, oddly enough considering my penchant for unavailable/unattainable men, I didn't even know when I realized that I had a thing for him.

So now, I am stuck. I can't do anything but wait and see how things pan out. I hate the waiting. I'm sure it will be easier tomorrow, and easier still the day after, but I hate that this is happening. Its like, I am not sure that I will ever find someone. I have been so unlucky in love and its getting so ridiculously old. Wah wah blah blah. Whatever.

It just would have been nice if this one had worked out. I think it could have been great.

ALSO, someone took my brand new, ridiculously expensive and amazing looking coat last night. Hate it.

waiting tables

2007-11-21T16:04:00.000-05:00

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_a7jkcMVp5Vg/R0OgYtQE64I/AAAAAAAACb4/ji_fDX3Bg28/s1600-h/racist.jpg

This made me think of you, Anne, and how very true this statement is.

whew...

2007-11-13T19:01:00.000-05:00

whew...

registration sucked (I got not a single one of the classes I wanted originally -- had to stand in line with 20-some people at the Undergrad Business office to have them manually override me into my classes), but i made it out alright. i have four classes, so i just need a psych class once they open them up to everyone and maybe a pass/fail elective.

here's what i have:

MW:
--Spanish 202, 1-1:50
--Organizational Behavior. 2-3:20
TR:
--Legal Environment of Business, 9:30-10:20
--Equity Markets/Portfolio Management, 3:30-4:50
F:
--Spanish 202, 1-1:50

I'll probably end up taking Developmental Psych at 2-3:20 on TR.

That was such a frustrating registration though!!!

things that caught my attention

2007-11-13T12:10:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe (well I can, but it saddens me) that we are still facing this argument, and that someone of such high profile is saying these things:

although, i <3> Laura Berman :-)

This broke my heart when I saw it on PostSecret. Don't know why it affected me so much, but it is just so beautiful, simple and heart-breaking.

it's been fun

2007-11-12T18:11:00.000-05:00

The bottom line is: you need to do what you feel is best.

Just know:
-you will be missed
-things will never be the same without you
-you don't need to start knocking :-)

OMG Homecoming is totally worth $300 a semester!

2007-10-29T14:37:00.001-04:00

soooooooooooooooooooooooo I had an absolute BLAST this weekend!!!

After a ridiculous Thursday (I don't remember anything after my shirt came off...not a fun thing to be able to say), a miserable Friday (Nacho Chili Fritos taste AWFUL coming back up) I was worried about my ability to drink during the weekend. Fear not, my friends! I was in full form for the weekend!

Friday night was a wonderful night of screwdrivers, Blackout and watching people make out with different tempos (thanks Joeysha). I passed out somewhere around 3 on a couch (minus a cushion) on the main floor for a few hours. And by passed out I mean I took naps intermittently while the people running around me were drinking, cooking and watching basketball. Woke up at 7, continued with the screwdrivers and pancakes until we were told the parade we (well...not me) had worked on so hard all week was cancelled. So we had an impromptu drunken 8am dance party, won the parade (we drove our float around the parking lot and declared ourselves winners!), and continued the drinking from tailgate to tailgate. I drank until probably 7 pm, which means I was drunk for over 12 hours! Yayyyyyyymyliverhatesme...

Then Joey, Aaron and I went to my house and 'something happened.' it happened SIX TIMES!!!! Between Aaron conversing with the stars and Joey screaming randomly when he was startled to find he was not alone in the room and myself laughing and swinging in my chair, we had an absolute blast.

Sunday was spent at Society Lunch (IHOP) with awesome people, then watching Hair and Kill Bill. Overall a relaxing day and a lovely goodbye to the awesome alumni who came back. I wish they didn't have to leave. sad.

Now its back to classes. Which is no good. Marketing midterm Wednesday. Must bring up my grade following the B- I got on the last exam. Then Spanish quiz Friday. Not much else going on this week, though I should imagine my group will get together at least once to work on our Finance case due the first day back from Simulation Week (we have a test in that class the same day as well...what was she thinking???). Also, my parents come that weekend. Ughhhhh, ridic.

My work ethic is tragically low these days. That's all.

ooooooooooooohhh

2007-10-23T20:21:00.001-04:00

NOW I get why Kylie Minogue is such a gay icon (mostly in Australia):

that is so FIERCE!

he's back in my (very) good graces :-)

2007-10-23T15:18:00.000-04:00

http://perezhilton.com/?p=7503

tru banner stalking addiction

2007-10-23T01:16:00.000-04:00

I just discovered that the classes for next semester are up today and I have already created a potential(ly fierce) schedule:

Monday/Wednesday:
12-12:50 Spanish - Toney (my current teacher who loves me)
3-4:20 Primate Behavior (P/F) - Barbara King (apparently one of the most amazing professors we have)

Tuesday/Thursday:
8-9:20 Money and Debt Markets - Atanasov (apparently the only current time it is offered. Maybe more will come up later in the T/R days)
2-3:20 Developmental Psych - Jensen (had her for Stats, easiest class ever!)
3:30-4:50 Equity Markets & Portfolio Management

Friday:
12-12:50 Spanish

Fridays, one class at NOON. and its easyyyyy! Yeah, its a late schedule for every other day, but I can sleep in MWF, and I have a huge chunk of time between my TR classes to do homework/nap/relax. And I can go to mug night! Barely any work over the weekend (Spanish is easy and Primate Behavior is P/F) so i can get ahead on TR stuff. I would LOVE this schedule. The only way it could be better would be if there were another Money and Debt Markets at 11 or so...

THIS is why I have an addiction. Is there an AA-type organization for me?

too cute

2007-10-22T16:05:00.000-04:00

boo on you, obama

2007-10-22T08:35:00.001-04:00

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/earl-ofari-hutchinson/obama-should-repudiate-an_b_69244.html

i hate fighting

2007-10-14T16:18:00.000-04:00

Fall Break has been alright so far. It would have been alot better, but I am feeling really upset about a fight I have been having with Anne. I guess I just need to get some things out of my system:

It started (for me) a few months ago, when the comments started. At first the comments were about my Dad's job. I made the housemates aware that my dad works at TV Guide. More specifically, he was hired last November as one of the higher-ups in the financial department of the magazine. My dad has worked his ass off, since graduating from an inner-city college to becoming a public accountant at an auditing firm to moving up the ladder at that company for 23 years. Since then he has held a few CFO-type jobs until landing at TV Guide. The jokes were fun at first, joking me because my dad 'owns TV Guide.' However, it eventually moved from funny to uncomfortable. How do I respond? I tried laughing along but that never worked. I guess these comments would happen whenever ever said anything regarding money or my financial situation, which is something I am not used to having to monitor. It is just a fact of life that I come from a very wealthy area. My friends from home vary quite a bit in financial situation, but for the most part we are all somewhere in the middle class. My parents always taught me to be very respectful of others, and made me aware of how lucky I am and was to have what I do. They taught me the importance of working hard and that i should never take money for granted. This has definitely helped me in coming to college, but it did not completely prepare me. I live with two incredible women who come from very different circumstances than my friends from home and I do. I really do try to remain as respectful and understanding of that. I respect them more than I could possibly say, and I really hope they know that. But I am not perfect. And I slip sometimes and say things that at home would be fine, but here come off snobby and rude. I can assure that they are never, ever meant in a malicious or hurtful way, but they come off that way regardless. Sometimes I realize it, sometimes not. It is something I am working on, and this has definitely made me realize that I need to work harder. I don't mean to excuse myself or those remarks, but I think that I can explain why I say them and the fact that I never mean them to be hurtful. I hope that from now on, if I say something STUPID like I do so often, she and/or diana will bring it up so that it doesn't fester and we can work it out right away.

Lately, however, the comments have changed. Mostly when she is high, Anne has taken to making digs at me regarding something I am doing and/or saying that can be connected to my being gay. I have been having trouble putting my finger on what exactly it is about what or how she says it that always makes me really uncomfortable. I have no problem whatsoever talking about my sexuality. My friends (gay and straight) and I joke each other constantly about it, and that has never bothered me. But her comments for whatever reason do. Don't know why, but they make me extremely comfortable. I try to explain myself, but she continues and I eventually just stop talking because I know it just eggs her on. I really don't think she thinks she is being mean or that she is trying to hurt my feelings. She thinks it is all in good fun. Maybe she enjoys watching me squirm because of the things I say that make her uncomfortable or hurt. I don't know, but I understand that she means no malice.

She told me that she thinks I should be able to handle this, but I can't because I am ashamed of myself. I really don't agree. I am out to pretty much everyone (some people my parents think should not be informed, i.e. my sister (too young) and my Dad's mom (religious, might have a heart attack)). My friends know, my coworkers know, most family knows. I did one of the scariest things I have ever done and told my parents this summer. If i was so ashamed I would not have told them. But it became important to me and I did. I really enjoy talking about it and am fully capable of laughing at myself. I guess that the way the comments are said reminds me alot of when kids in middle school made fun of me. Looking back, middle school was alot crueler to me than I remember. I was called gay, fag, fruit, etc. more times than I could remember (almost daily) and at the time, I had no idea what that even meant! I didn't like girls, true. But I didn't like boys either until late 7th grade. That didn't stop the comments, the ones that were said in such a way that it didn't matter whether or not I knew what they meant. I knew it was mean. I shrugged it off, pretended to let it bounce off of me, because I knew I couldn't fight them. I also knew I couldn't tell my parents. I was too embarrassed to let them know that kids didn't like me. I had to explain already in 5th grade why I no longer played with my best friend (I was a fag, which meant he couldn't associate with me anymore). I couldn't handle telling them that everyone else made fun of me. So I kept it inside. I got so angry that it tore me up inside. I got so sad that I cried myself to sleep quite often. I have never been so lonely in my entire life as I was from 5th-8th grade. I think that this explains alot about why I am so paranoid in friendships now, and why I am scared of relationships. I don't quite trust people still.

All this aside, the comments, I think, strike the part of me still inhabited by my middle-school self, and I get defensive. I insist that it isn't true, without realizing that it is, and it's alright. I am gay, and its not a bad thing! I am still finding myself. I am still working on who I am. I am still trying to impress upon that part of me that I don't have to defend myself, or fight back. Maybe all of this will work out to be beneficial, in that I can move on a bit more. Who knows. Either way, I hate that we are in this fight when we used to be such good friends. We used to have lunch every Wednesday to catch up because she was so busy working. Now that she doesn't have to, the lunches have stopped, and we have slipped apart. Hopefully when we talk soon, we can move on and work at getting our close friendship back. I really hope that we can.

also

2007-10-12T18:06:00.000-04:00

Anne,

I know you don't get it, but when you start saying those things, it does actually hurt my feelings. The tone of your voice is a mix of disgust, disapproval, and pent-up anger. And I know that you think it is all in good fun, but each time you just end up making me feel bad about myself and who I am. I know I have changed alot since you knew me, and I know that I have friends that are different from what you are used to, but it is what it is. I feel like I am continuing to figure out who I am. I wasn't forced to be such an adult at such an early age. I was not comfortable with such a huge part of me until very recently. So I am still growing and changing as a person. Maybe some of this is a phase, but maybe its me. I just hate feeling so attacked so often when I am in my own house, where I have usually felt so accepted and free to talk. You may not understand it, but that doesn't give you the right to do what so many people do in our society and ridicule it. If it is something that you don't think you can handle, if you feel like you need to say these things, then we need to talk. Because lately I have felt like I am not really wanted around you. I don't ever intentionally say anything like this to you, and I don't know why you feel the need. This probably sounds like I am taking it to personally, but every time I have asked you to stop you just continue and I don't know what else to do. So here it is. Maybe we can figure this out.

Dan

triangle

2007-10-12T16:12:00.000-04:00

Things are changing and who knows how things will turn out. All I know is that multiple aspects of life have been or seem poised to shift or reverse, and I just don't know up from down anymore. Its going to be a whirlwind; I can tell. Good or bad, who knows. I just hope that the sense of contentedness (minus the couple of glitches I have experienced) that i have become used to will remain (increase?) in the end.

awesome weekend!

2007-10-08T18:12:00.000-04:00

Camping
was
AMAZING

I just had such an awesome time hanging out with everyone. We had such a nice setup on Christian's farm in Woodstock, VA. Solitude all the way. There were very few sober times, and almost no not-fun times (basically just the rocky river bed barefoot). Countless beer bongs, ridiculous skinny dipping and "something happened" alot. I feel alot closer to my TDX family now (so sorry Rob couldn't be there, though!!!) and am just generally in a good place. Though it was a bit of a bummer coming back to the real world, where everything kinda goes back to normal, when you wish it could just always stay the way it was. Life is simple on the campground, haha.

Craziest moment: crouching, buttass naked in a cornfield with joey and aaron, smoking lafawnduh while absolutely trashed and laughing the entire time.

but now I am back to the pre-Fall Break craziness. I have a Marketing presentation on Wednesday, an IT midterm Thursday and a Business Ethics paper due Friday. Ugh. Not fun. But one day at a time, and it will all be finished soon enough. and then Fall BREAKKKKKKKKKKK. i am just sleeping, eating and partying. thats IT. hahahaha, sooooo excited!

Got two exams back today. Finance quiz: 18.5/20 --> amazing. I improved since my last score (18/20) and it was a difficult exam. The class is so hard that to get an A, all you need is an 80%. And I am soooo on track. I just need to keep it up and rock the final.

Unfortunately, my Spanish wasn't good. I got a 76 on the first test, which is miserable. Definitely my first non-A exam in any Spanish class. The worst part was that I lost 10% in one section, because I didn't read the instructions and answered in present tense, not preterite! That would have been a ridiculously easy section. ughhhhh... whatever, i can make it up. i have gotten consistent good grades, and I will make sure to do better on the next tests.

so yea, thats my update. i am really trying to post more often, but the last week has been crazy. hope you enjoyed the lyrics to "Origin of Love." I really really like that song, and its such an interesting story. if you want it, i can send you the song. just let me know!

off to grab food before meeting.

kisses.

"The Origin of Love"

2007-09-28T20:11:00.000-04:00

When the earth was still flat,
And the clouds made of fire,
And mountains stretched up to the sky,
Sometimes higher,
Folks roamed the earth
Like big rolling kegs.
They had two sets of arms.
They had two sets of legs.
They had two faces peering
Out of one giant head
So they could watch all around them
As they talked; while they read.
And they never knew nothing of love.
It was before the origin of love.

The origin of love

And there were three sexes then,
One that looked like two men
Glued up back to back,
Called the children of the sun.
And similar in shape and girth
Were the children of the earth.
They looked like two girls
Rolled up in one.
And the children of the moon
Looked like a fork shoved on a spoon.
They was part sun, part earth,
Part daughter, part son.

The origin of love.

Now the gods grew quite scared
Of our strength and defiance
And Thor said,"I'm gonna kill them all
With my hammer,
Like I killed the giants."
But the Zeus said, "No,
You better let me
Use my lightning, like scissors,
Like I cut the legs off the whales
And dinosaurs into lizards."
Then he grabbed up some bolts
And he let out a laugh,
Said, "I'll split them right down the middle.
Gonna cut them right up in half."

And then storm clouds gathered above
Into great balls of fire
And then fire shot down
From the sky in bolts
Like shining bladesOf a knife.
And it rippedRight through the flesh
Of the children of the sun
And the moon
And the earth.
And some Indian god
Sewed the wound up into a hole,
Pulled it round to our belly
To remind us of the price we pay.
And Osiris and the gods of the Nile
Gathered up a big storm
To blow a hurricane,
To scatter us away,
In a flood of wind and rain,
And a sea of tidal waves,
To wash us all away,
And if we don't behave
They'll cut us down again
And we'll be hopping around on one foot
And looking through one eye.

Last time I saw you
We had just split in two.
You was looking at me.
I was looking at you.
You had a way so familiar,
But I could not recognize,
Cause you had blood on your face;
I had blood in my eyes.
But I could swear by your expression
That the pain down in your soul
Was the same as the one down in mine.
That's the pain,
Cuts a straight line
Down through the heart,
We called it love.
So we wrapped our arms around each other,
Trying to shove ourselves back together.
We was making love,
Making love.
It was a cold dark evening,
Such a long time ago,
When by the mighty hand of Jove,
It was the sad story
How we became
Lonely two-legged creatures,
It's the story of
The origin of love.

That's the origin of love.

sigh

2007-09-24T14:13:00.000-04:00

Fall Break is going to suck. It seems like everyone is doing something fun and exciting. Except for me. I'll just sit around I guess.

.................

weekenddddd

2007-09-21T19:08:00.000-04:00

note to self: update more

this weekend has been pretty cool. i was in a weird mood Friday night, and it wouldn't go away. Got high and a bit drunk and went to some party in Ludwell. The mix of the two made the party weird for me as I didn't know many people and everyone i went with had their own thing going. I had some bad paranoia too, and started getting a bit overwhelmed. anyway, left with the grrls, went to wawa and chilled in my room for a bit before crashing.

Woke up at 1 on Saturday (between 10 and 11 hrs of much-needed sleep was wonderfulllllll), got ready, went immediately into work, grabbed some food and read a bit, then started my shift. For a 9 hour shift (got stuck an hour late...more later), it wasn't too bad. I made some really good tips (a guy paid a $35 check with a $50 and left), and had really nice customers pretty much all night. 30 mins before we closed, a group of 8 people came in, and of course I had to take them (damn you Sylvia, I do not think you were truly sorry). They took forever to order, and despite making a comment about trying to get me out at 11, they continued to make things more complicated than necessary. One of the pizzas for one of the kids came out wrong (not wrong, as it was according to her specifications, but she insists she said "pepperoni" when i KNOW she said "pepper" and they sent it back to remake it instead of picking off the damn peppers, or, god forbid, EATING THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE GOOD FOR YOU (fatass). she also made the kitchen open back up to make her a refill on her never-ending pasta bowl at 11:25 after eating half of her first bowl (she also barely touched her refill). they gave me a $9 tip on an $80-some dollar check for 8 people, and i know i heard one woman tell her husband/babydaddy "no, thats breakfast money!" In the end, totally not worth the extra hour.

Came home, not sure if i wanted to go out or not, and hung out with my housemates which was awesome. I miss them. Diana dropped me at the Unit at 1am, and the party was still in full force. Joey and Aaron were hilarious, and Joey and I had good conversation while Aaron gave Asian one of many lapdances. A fun night and totally worth sleeping on the floor (one of these days i WILL get a bed...). Woke up, hung out and went to the Caf for a brunch/feast, and saw Jaqui and Jamilla driving past. Jumped in with them and have been doing hw with them in preparation for a hopefully-fun Sunday night. Screw class at 8am, I slept enough this weekend to have a good night tonight. wooo. that felt good. i really should do this more often...

ps. what is everyone doing for Fall Break? I have heard tell of some fun things but don't have plans myself...

three's a crowd

2007-09-17T21:46:00.000-04:00

I really really really hate being third wheel.

where IS everyone???

2007-09-08T23:23:00.000-04:00

I was so excited because I got off work early, so I would be able to go enjoy my Saturday night. Until I get home to an empty house, and no one is picking up their phones or answering IMs. I am trapped, because I am not getting ready/dressed/clean and heading over to the units if no one will be there.

Blahhhhhh.

i am bad at updating

2007-09-07T17:10:00.000-04:00

This semester is going to be ridiculously busy. I have so many extra assignments, meetings, and workshops (oh my).

Plus TDX and other social aspects. But that will be fun.

and homework! I have so many presentations and case studies and exams, etc. oi...

Oh well, one day/week at a time. Plus, there are a few weeks when I have basically nothing in my planner, which will be fun.

Classes are good. My professors are all cool, and I like them alot. They seem fair and don't load on unnecessary work (for the most part...)

This semester/year are going to be crazy for me. Internship interviews will be beginning soon, and these will affect where I intern this summer (I am hoping to intern in NYC -- how AMAZING would that be???) And it seems that most people end up being offered a full time position after graduation, so in LESS THAN A YEAR i might know where I will be working and what I will be doing. That is SO scary! especially considering I have NO idea what are of finance I am interested in... I will have to schedule a meeting with someone to talk about that. blah. i hate scheduling meetings. But I must.

My car is falling apart. It is so sad. My bumper/undercarriage got ripped off by a curb when I accidentally pulled too far onto it. And now I need a new bumper (I am sure) before my car can pass inspection, which is next month I believe. UGH!!! pain in my ass.

so thats life right now. its crazy. I am now off to a Toga Party for the frat! That last sentence would sound so ridic to me a year ago...

time for change

2007-08-29T14:57:00.001-04:00

i think i am going to be going easy on drinking for a little while. I have heard some things from others about my usual behavior when I drink, and it is very unsettling. I apparently become very blatant and transparent when I drink, and I am just not ok with that. It is very scary to know that I have little control over yourself, especially considering that I do not notice this lack of control. I have also done some things I am very not proud of while too drunk that have been relatively detrimental to me. I have suffered the consequences (read: absolute mortification), and it is time that I learn from them.

I am saying in no way that I will stop drinking; however I do plan on trying to limit it a bit. which i am sure will not be very easy considering my friends, but I will make it work.

Or attempt to do so.

yay!!!

2007-08-26T19:34:00.001-04:00

Everyone is back!!! I am SOOOOO excited for this semester :-D

wow

2007-08-17T16:46:00.000-04:00

Two huge things happened today. One very good, one very bad.

Good:
I told my parents that I am gay, and they are both ok and assured me that they still love me and all that (though mom is upset about the grandchildren thing, haha).

Bad:
My parents are fighting over something very stupid, and things don't look too good for them right now. Hopefully it will breeze over, but who knows...

ponder this

2007-08-14T00:20:00.000-04:00

did God make man in God's own image? or did man make God in man's own image?????

hmmmmm

this may not seem as mindblowing in the morning

beach lyfe

2007-08-12T13:37:00.000-04:00

This will be a pretty quiet week, I can tell. Being down the shore with my family is always relaxing, but sometimes it gets monotonous. Fortunately, we got wireless, so now I have internet.

Score.

Got here yesterday after being stuck in traffic for many miles in many places. Still only took about 2.5 hours. Not too bad.

Dinner w/ the family was nice, then went to pick up Bill to catch up on a year's worth of life. Its always fun telling people that I joined a frat. They can never believe it. Neither can I sometimes.

He's jealous that my school has a 'gay scene,' as he goes to Cabrini, and religious school, so there isn't much of one. I told him not to be too jealous, haha.

We patrolled Stone Harbor, went to Wawa, walked and talked alot. Then went and got high at my house w/ Lafawnduh. It was fun. I was the Prep teaching the Hippie how to use a piece. That was entertaining.

Breakfast at Brian's Waffle House and now am chillin. Probably about to head out to the deck to sunbathe and get rid of the spots I have from peeling.

More updates later, I'm sure.

home again (not for long)

2007-08-10T22:50:00.000-04:00

I am back at home for a little while. I drove home Wednesday afternoon/evening because I had a dermatologist appointment the next morning (turns out I have a relatively common condition, hyperhidrosis. I am not a medical mystery! Woot!). Yesterday, I spent the day getting some things done, running errands, and just hanging out. Nothing too exciting.

Today I went to the Gryphon w/ Tana and talked for two hours, which was awesome. I had a great time, and really enjoy talking to her one-on-one, which rarely happened until this summer. I really miss her when I am at school. Just got back from dinner w/ the fam (mmm Outback -- haha, Anne, was thinking of you!), and am probably just gonna relax til i crash.

Tomorrow, I'm headed to our house in Avalon for a week of relaxation, tanning, the beach, and catching up w/ Bill and Jess. Should be a nice time!

I'll be back in the Burg during the day (hopefully) on Sunday the 19th. I will work one full week, then everyone will be coming back and BlowIn shall commence!!!!!

This semester is promising to be amaaaazing...

crushes

2007-08-10T22:29:00.001-04:00

I feel awkward talking to people about my crushes. This has always been the case, and I think I have some ideas as to why. I tend to, in my view, have crushes on unattainable people. Often, unattainable means I see them as out of my league. I have high standards, which gets annoying. So when I tell people about these crushes, I just can imagine people thinking "thats never gonna happen." They don't have to say it (or even think it), but I know it. Its especially obvious when, once I tell someone, they attempt to move on in the conversation, because they know it won't work and they don't want to give me hope. Which is understandable. I don't want someone to tell me that they think I should go for it, because they might share my feelings when they really don't mean it or worse, know for a fact that the crush doesn't like me back (this sentence might not make sense. sorry.). But despite this, when nothing is said about my chances, (i.e. "you never know! they might feel the same way."), and the conversation moves on, I know exactly what they are thinking.

Also, once its out there, admitted to the world, it can cause problems. When it doesn't work out (as they are out of my league) it feels like it is a failure on my part. I didn't 'achieve' what I wanted. I couldn't woo them. Or whatever. Or they might find out about it, which is a whole new realm of problems and issues that is really not fun to deal with. And yet I always want to tell people when I have a crush. Maybe I am secretly wishing that the person I tell will have some good news (i.e. "they told me they had a crush on you too!").

Crushes are so annoying. Its like, I can't live with them and I can't live without them. They suck, because as mentioned before, I crush on those out of my league, so they never end well. Or they work out and I change my mind. And I get my hopes all up, just to get them shot down (see lyrics to "Paper Bag"). But when I don't have a crush at a particular moment (and by this, I mean when I don't have one person that I am very focused on. At any given moment, there are numerous people I find attractive or appealing in some way; I just haven't thought about them romantically yet.), I feel sad because there isn't that sense of hope. I guess there is this energy one devotes to a crush, and when there is no crush, there is not outlet for this energy. I don't know if thats the real reason, but I know that when there is no one particular person, I feel weighed down or less hopeful, or something like that. So its almost a lose/lose situation. Which sucks.

So yea. Thats my rant on crushes. And telling people about them. I didn't plan on typing for that long. But its insight into my crazy head. It is a full-time job just for me to try to figure out why I do the things I do, and feel the things I feel. So I am saving you some time, and letting you all know now. So YOU don't have to interpret me. You are welcome ;-)

Gogo -- I lied. It's a real one. I just felt awkward so I made it seem like not a big deal. Hehe...

Anne -- I miss you.

These are the only people who comment, so they are the ones who get shout-outs. :-D

Song this post reminded me of:
"Paper Bag," by Fiona Apple

I was staring at the sky
Just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on
Or something like that

I was having a sweet fix
Of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew
Was hopeless to be had

But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances were
Approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near, so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird, but it was just a paper bag

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

And I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climb
Looking for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay put, wouldn't put his lips to mine,
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope

And I said, "Honey, I don't feel so good, don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void"
He said, "It's all in your head"
And I said, "So's everything'" but he didn't get it
I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy

Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

Hunger hurts, but I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold because these hands are just too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

Oh hunger hurts, but I want him so bad, oh it kills
Because I know that I'm a mess that he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold because these hands are just too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving it works, when it costs too much to love

you are my sweetest downfall...

2007-08-09T12:10:00.000-04:00

Damnit.

WHY do I always want those I cannot have? What is WRONG with me????

OHIO

2007-08-08T10:56:00.000-04:00

Ohio was SO FUN i can't accurately describe it in words.

I didn't want to leave.

But i had to.

I will explain more later/in person, but some awesome memories:

-the extreme heterosexuality of the bike races
-riding on the back of Aaron's motorcycle
-"SHOW US YOUR BOOBIES!!!"
-Sarah actually showing people her boobies
-"Vodka Monster"
-"Can I just say one thing...Aaron is my best friend..."
-Sarah rolling around in the pee area
-sleeping like sardines in the back of the van
-recounting everything Sarah did to her the next day at Denny's
-Gogo and Sarah tipping their canoe!!!
-doing absolutely no work on the kayak, kicking back, and drinking Corona, which watching Sarah and Gogo hitting every branch hanging over the river--the life!
-the secret spots
-spending ridiculous amounts of money on alcohol at Kroger's
-heat lightning + stars
-gaining insight into why Aaron is the way he is
"We rockin' stilletos, ho"

and so very much more.

i am going to miss Sarah soooooooo much, but I am excited to see Aaron again in a few weeks. This semester is gonna rock!

bye!

2007-08-03T13:33:00.000-04:00

So after over a month in the Burg, I am leaving again. I am headed tomorrow morning to Ohio for the first time to visit Aaron, my 'uncle' in TDX. Gogo is also going. Good, drunk times will be had by all. YAY!

I will be back for a few hours or so on the 8th, but then I am leaving to go home for a little over a week. I am excited, because we will be staying at my beach house for a week in Avalon. I looooove it there. While home I can also see some friends from home, which will be fun.

I am very much looking forward to this hiatus from OG. Working there is quite stressful, but I like the people and the money. But two weeks off sounds awesome.

So yes, farewell summer friends! Seeya on the 19th!

lkdsajflkaf;lavd

2007-08-01T10:30:00.000-04:00

I've been sick since Saturday, and my symptoms don't seem to be going away, so i'm going to MedExpress.

I almost hope it's Strep, because I know that the medicine for that works almost immediately.

Cross your fingers...

X-(

RIP my childhood

2007-07-24T19:22:00.000-04:00

I finished Harry Potter

now what?

sigh...

OG

2007-07-23T10:54:00.001-04:00

i worked a double yesterday. It was pretty damn exhausting. I was doing fine until about 7, then i just lost my energy. We didn't really get a break, but were told to eat as we work. Which is not ok with me, as I brought in Harry Potter to read as I ate a delicious meal during my expected break. Blast! I didn't even make it through my Chicken Parm w/ Angel Hair Pasta before it got cold and gross. Meh.

And I thought I was going to make a killing from the double, but i ended up with less than I expected. I walked out with something like $132. That is after tip-out ($27 i ended up giving) and $5 for the bussers to do my side work and $7 for my meal. I dunno. I just remember working last Sunday and I make $110 after tip out, etc. so where is the rest? I have no idea, but I know I was making great tips. Oh well. Its still alot of money going straight to the bank after work today.

Yup, I am headed to work now. No desire to go after yesterday, but its just lunch and will be pretty slow as its a weekday. Maybe I'll get cut early.

Then CalTort tonight!!!

grr...

2007-07-14T10:44:00.001-04:00

I went to work yesterday for my first dinner shift (on a Friday, no less), prepared to work my ass off but to make some good money.

When I get there, I ask Andie (she's a sweetie) where I was supposed to work, and she tells me Bridgette has the sheet so I ask her. She says I am supposed to work To-Go...

I don't know how to work To-Go!

Then she says, 'oh wait. no, you are on patio. you were scheduled to work in Zin (the easy room for newbies) but someone must have whined and they switched you out.'

Bitch!

But it was raining when I pulled in.

I tell Andie, who talks to one of the hosts, and they decide that, since its raining, the patio will be closed. Andie tells me that, unfortunately, that means I am not really needed, but I am welcome to hang out and see if anyone wants to leave/calls out. I do, for 30 mins, and then give up and head out, empty handed.

Later, I go get Wendy's (spend money instead of making it...), and since there is no rain anymore (it must have lasted for about 5 mins.) I decide to check out the patio which is visible from the parking lot which is just past Wendy's. I do, and, of course, the patio is being used, and people are eating out there.

DAMNIT

oh well, i work ALOT next week:

Today: Lunch
Sunday: end of lunch into dinner
Monday: Lunch
Tuesday: Lunch
Wednesday: Lunch
Friday: Dinner
Saturday: Lunch
Sunday: Double (eek)

where's anne?

2007-07-14T10:43:00.000-04:00

Anne's on vacation for a week. The house is soo quiet.

:-(

(but i know she is currently having an AMAZING time)

Colonial Summer update

2007-07-09T22:50:00.000-04:00

I am having such a fun summer.

Life involves sleeping late, working a little, then partying of some sort at night. Awesome. This whole no homework approach to life is amazing.

Had my first real shift at Olive Garden today. It went very well. We were slow, so i didn't make much money, but i realized I can totally handle it. The people were very nice, and it seems like it will work out pretty well.

note to self: drink more, smoke less

i work again tomorrow, lunch shift, so more establishing comfort

then i'm off for two days!!!

Anne goes on vaca on Thursday. I will be muy triste. It will be so quiet and boring without her. :-/

Having Doug living here is awesome. He does our chores. Shirtless. Its awesome. Oh, and he's just an awesome human being in general.

Big news (in my life): I have pretty much decided not to go abroad in the Spring. As sad as I am that I won't have that opportunity, it seems to make more sense. Here is why:
--its alot of money. forrealz.
--I can spend another semester at school with my friends.
--I won't have to cram 4 semesters-worth of classes into 3 semesters, especially in my senior year. Now I can take electives!
Besides, my mom suggested I should just go travel Europe for a few weeks with a friend or something, which is basically what I want to do in the first place. The taking classes is not important to me. I just want to travel!

Sweet.

IIIIIIIIII'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK

2007-06-28T11:48:00.000-04:00

Back in the BURG...WOOOOO

Soooo happy to be back. I got in last night, and Anne and Diana were waiting for me and cooking Hamburger Helper!!! We hugged, talked, hugged more, smoked and ate wondrous food!

It
was
phenomenal

I saw Gogo and Rob too which was awesome!

Rob's stuff is still in my place, as he isnt moving out until July 1, i think. which is fine, its just weird, because this isnt the apartment I left 6 weeks ago. its different. lived in. full.

meh, its a few days. I will probably not completely unpack until he's packed so that I can try and make some changes and fill my apt up more with my stuff.

Cancun was SOOOOOOOOO AMAZING!!!! I HAD AN INCREDIBLE TIME!!!! BEST FAMILY VACA EVERRRRRRR

The resort was all-inclusive, which means free food, drink, entertainment AND ALCOHOL! I WAS DRINKING ALL DAY!!! I basically sat by the pool or on the beach, drinking and tanning. or played volleyball. At night, I drank at bars and went to the nightclub with my amazing cousin, Lauren. we bonded over drinking, college, and boys (one in particular, long steamy crazy story, ask if you want to hear it cuz im not posting it here...)

I miss lauren. :-(

Weeds is an amazing show. Watch it.

Sober, by Kelly Clarkson, is my fav song. Listen to it.

Today, I must:
-stop by Olive Garden and see if I have a job
-talk to Bob Sheeran about whether or not I am interning this summer.
-go to IT so they can fix my USB ports so i can put music on my iPod
-get gas
-PARTY

whew. good to be back.

I'm home (again)!

2007-06-16T16:21:00.000-04:00

I thought this was very artistic and well-done (and also goes along with the theme of many of my angsty posts ;-)):

I just got back from Florida. I had a great time, but I am glad to be home. Being soccer mom to 4 kids can be exhausting! I hope to relax and spend more time with friends between now and Tuesday, when I leave for Cancun, which I am really looking forward to. I plan on taking full advantage of the bar and the beach while there ;-)

I am officially going to Ohio in early August to visit Aaron with Rob, Eliz and Gogo (who I LOVE!), and I am so excited! This summer is going to ROCK... except for the whole 'job' thing. I will probably be working at Olive Garden, but i haven't spoken to them since I left the 'Burg, so anything can happen. I am nervous about the rigorous training, but I am sure I can handle it. I just will need to figure out a schedule that seems confortable, profitable, yet spacious enough for me to enjoy my summer (especially my evenings!). Cross your fingers for me!

11 days til SUMMER '07 -- COLONIAL STYLE!

LONG OVERDUE

2007-06-12T22:36:00.000-04:00

Voila! Something to do! Yay!

I am currently in (not always) sunny Orlando, babysitting my cousins while my uncle works and my aunt is visiting her dad who just had surgery for cancer. My main job is to feed and entertain the 4 of them:

Jessica, 15, has summer school (P/E -- two weeks, in the middle of Florida summer! how much does that suck?) so she is gone most of the day. she helps out with the kids when she comes home around 3.

Greg, 12, is a pain, because he starts fights with all siblings. basically a nudge, but he'll do what i tell him, so hes very helpful. he always wants to do something (movie, minigolf, bowling) so i try to do a different thing each day. which is pretty fun for me too...

Brian, 9, can usually be found either a) watching tv, b) fighting with greg, or c) both a and b. he rarely wants to leave the house, but generally does what i say. he eats alot too.

Austin, 3, is ADORABLE but DEMANDING. he always wants what he can't have, but is often content watching Bambi or Barney or Mickey. He talks. alot. unfortunately he also needs a translator, as i can understand about every 3rd word. but hes cute in the process.

So thats my life these days. I can totally understand now why mothers can find motherhood so lonely. i have no one really to talk to during the day, especially without Jess there. I also really never get a chance to just sit by myself, because Austin always needs one thing or another. Haha...im complaining, but its really not bad. the kids are cute and generally well-behaved. I'm enjoying myself, i guess its just that i miss having any semblance of a social life. i just want my real summer to get started. I fly home on Saturday, and am off for Cancun the following Tuesday, which i am really excited for. I plan on sampling the entire bar. on the beach. all day. score. then...SUMMER '07 -- COLONIAL STYLEEEEE

grades

2007-05-31T14:57:00.000-04:00

I FORGOT! grades came in, and despite partying alot, joining a frat, and discontinuing reading for the last month of school, i scraped myself into Dean's List with a 3.62!!!!!

Spanish: A (duh)
Social Psych: B+
Gender and Society: A- (nice!)
Personality Theory: B+
Philosophy: A- (HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???)

I cant fathom how i pulled an A- in philo when i went into the final paper with a solid B, and the paper was so miserably written and thought-out that I didnt even dare revising it. just crazy. but i guess it makes up for both my psych final exams pulling my grades from A- to B+

oh well, ILL TAKE IT!!!